Challenging behaviors: 

• Consistency is key-- always follow through on warnings.  If children know that you mean what you say, they will eventually understand your limits.  Don't worry if it is not working with your child.  Every child has their own time frame for understanding things.  It will take some children longer than others.
• Model the behavior you want to see from your child.  If you want your child to say "yes ma'am and no ma'am" to you, then you say it to them.  If you want your child to share his/her toys, then sit down and play with them and offer the toys you are playing with and say please and thank you during play.  If you want your child to remain calm in a tense situation, then you remain calm in tense situations.  I know, that's easier said than done.  It's okay for parents to have meltdowns, just try not to let your child see you having one.
• A firm "No" is really all you need to say to a child who has hit, bitten, scratched, etc. another child.  Any more words than that are either lost or are reinforcing your child's behavior.  Give attention to the "victim" so that the child who has bitten can see that this is not the way to get attention.
• Catch your child being good!  Give them the attention they crave when they are calm and being good.  A little praise goes a long way, so simply commenting on what your child is doing will mean a lot.  For example, "I see that you are building a tower with your blocks.  How tall do you think you can make it?"  or the occasional "I like the way that you are sharing your toys with your sister."
• If your child has difficulty with transitions, give them lots of warnings before something new is going to happen.  For example, "after we eat lunch, you can play for this much time (hold up fingers/hands to show how much time) and then we will go to the grocery store."  Continue to give reminders about what you are going to do and if your child can handle it, let them know what will happen after you get home from the grocery store (or other outing that is not their choice) such as:  "when we get home, you can play a game on the computer."
• Give your child choices when choices are appropriate.  For example, you could give a choice between a blue shirt and a red shirt when getting dressed in the morning.  If you are having trouble getting your child to get in the car for preschool, perhaps you could offer to "hop like a bunny to the car" or "slither like a snake to the car".
• Tantrumming:  as long as your child is not hurting themselves or others, it is perfectly okay to ignore a tantrum.  If you give your child what he wants during a tantrum, he will realize that this is an effective way to get things from you.  This is a challenge, we know, but try your best to wait until your child calms down, then find out what they want and if it is appropriate give it to them.  If it is not appropriate (i.e., they want an expensive toy while at the store), then give them your attention, cuddle/snuggle with them and try to avoid the topic of what triggered the tantrum.  We know it is not easy to always avoid tantrums, but if you know your child cannot handle going to a store without buying something, then try to arrange to do your shopping when your spouse/partner/friend/relative can be with your child.  When all else fails, remember, this will not last forever!

Communication:

• If your child is having difficulty being understood, ask him to show you what he wants, or point to it or gesture, or even act it out if he is so inclined. 
• Narrate your day so that your child associates words with actions: "I am getting out the milk and I am going to pour it on the cereal.  Now I am going to make the coffee.  Can you get a spoon for me so I can stir the coffee?"  Children pick up on what we adults do in our daily lives; they want to imitate us.
• Ask your child open-ended questions so that they have more opportunities for using language.  For example, as your child is playing with animals, ask her, "What is the cow doing?" or "Where should we put the dog?"
• At snack time, offer your child choices such as "Do you want goldfish or graham crackers?" If your child cannot say either word, then ask them to point to the one they want.  Then you can say, "Oh, you want the goldfish-- yummy goldfish" so you can reinforce the word/choice for next time. 
• If your child has not begun talking and you are concerned that they are not communicating appropriately, begin pairing words with signs. Milk, more, cracker, cheese, ball, animal signs are a good place to start.  You can find simple sign language books at your local library to get you started. 
• Read, read, read!!  There is no better tool for helping your child learn about words and how words are attached to pictures, things, and actions.

Fine Motor/Sensory Needs:

• Hide toys in dry rice or beans and have your child find them.  Small, plastic animals work well or use any small item that your child seems to like.
• Crayons-- simple scribbling on paper, cardboard boxes, using chalk on the sidewalk-- whatever!  These are all great fine muscle building activities.
• Water Play-- fill up the kitchen sink with water and some soap, throw some towels on the floor and have some nearby for big spills.  Give your child spoons, aponges, cups, bowls, strainers, funnels etc. and let them practice pouring, splashing, and squeezing.
• Play Dough-- great practice for pre-writing.  Also good for using your imagination-- "What should we make with this play dough?"  Use a rolling pin, scissors to snip a long strip of play dough, cookie cutters, plastic knives, straws.  All will help build those small muscles needed for writing and playing and building.  See our recipe page to learn how to make homemade play dough.